Thursday, January 21, 2010

A case AGAINST being a SAHM (GASP)


It's not what it looks like. I assure you. I'm not selling out on my SAHM squad. Just listen...
I love being a SAHM. It's something I've always known I've wanted to do. Never questioned it. And that's why it works for me. It's a labor of love.
Whenever you do something you truly love, it's that love that gets you through the hard times, the frustrating times, the OMG-somebody-please-come-and-get-this-baby times. Women that do not have this same love are the ones that should not be SAHMs.
Women that feel obligated or forced to to stay don't deal with the stresses as well. If you don't feel like it was your choice, and if you don't have a genuine connection to it, it becomes more of a prison sentence rather than a bonding time.
You've heard the saying: If moma ain't happy, nobody's happy. That's so true. An unhappy mother who feels trapped in her own home will only yield unhappy children and an unhappy husband. It's far better to be a satisfied mother with a traditional job than a depressed mother that stays home.
It's not always that easy, though. Some women, out of expectation from their family or requests by their husbands, feel like they have no choice. Some people are so attached to the idea that the mere suggestion of something else seems outrageous. What’s really outrageous is that mothers are suffocating and taking it out on their children. It's outrageous that marriages are being stamped out by resentment and deserted dreams. I see it in some of the blogs, women trying to mask their bitterness with jokes and folly.
Some people are extremely gung-ho about women getting out of the house and abandoning traditional roles. Others cling desperately to the conventions they feel are 100% necessary for families to thrive. I wouldn’t put myself in either group; it’s too dangerous out there on those poles. I’d rather stay safely in the middle, protected by the shades of gray.

I wouldn’t say that a woman has to stay home or that she should work. I’d only say that she has to take care of herself and her family, that she has to have peace of mind so she can spread it throughout her home. That’s about the only thing a woman has to do. Everything else is up for negotiation. At least that’s how it works in my mind.

Leelou Blogs

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

1 comment:

  1. Agreed! Some women appear to be cut out to stay at home and others are miserable. Miserable is no way to live or raise a child!


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