We've Moved!

If you'd like to keep up with me and Baby Z, come check us out at http://blog.nadirahangail.com. I've consolidated all my blogs into one, so you get a bit of everything over there. See ya soon!
Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail

A Plea for Help From A Crazy Parent of a Sleepless Child

I haven't had a goodnight's sleep since June 14, 2009. That was the day BEFORE my daughter was born. Okay, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but not really. She is 13 months and still gets up to nurse through the night. I did manage to get her to go back to sleep without nursing one night, but it took about an hour. I'm going crazy here! All you seasoned parents out there, I need you to save me from the brink of insanity. Suggestions? Advice?

 Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail

Baby Z's Goals

I was listening to a famous speaker once, and he asked a question. He asked, "How many of you have helped your children make 5-year plans?"

No hands went up.

"I've been all around the world asking that question," he went on to say, "and in other countries, they're raising their hands." He then spoke about how Americans have fallen so far behind other countries when it comes to educating and preparing our children for the future.

That was a few months ago, but it stuck with me, so I decided to help the baby with her very first plan. She said 5-years is a little much, so we started with this:

Baby Z's 5-Month Plan

 *Note: All of these plans were written by the baby, not me.

Month 1- Learn how to do my own hair (I guess my mom does an alright job, but she keeps giving me these baby styles. I've got an image to uphold.)

Month 2- Audition for American Idol (Why not? Everyone else does.)

Month 3-Get the parents to start giving me allowance. (I mean, seriously, how do they expect me to save for college and I don't have any money?)



Month 4-Get enrolled in kindergarter (Since I already know how to scribble, sings songs and take naps, I figure I've already got pre-school down. I'm headed straight to the big leagues!)

Month 5- Get an iphone 4 (I keep telling my mom, "I'm not a baby anymore!" I'm 13 months old, for goodness' sake. And I'm the only baby young adult on the block without one. How embarassing.)

Okay, so this is obviously a joke, but when she gets older (like around 5 or 6) her father and I are going to help her start making goals. We gotta prepare these kids early. It's tough out there!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

So what exactly is a "good baby"?

Baby Z is so popular. Every time we go somewhere, she makes friends: random strangers that just have to come check out the baby with the awesome cheeks. Among other things, I always hear "She's such a good baby!", to which I often reply "Yes, she's a really calm baby." Though she has her moments, for the most part, she has her own little zen to her. If you don't bother her, she definitely won't bother you.

But then I started thinking. What if she wasn't like that? What if her natural disposition was feistier, more aggressive, easily excitable? What then? Would she no long be a "good baby"? Would she be a "bad baby"? We're all born with different dispositions, and though some may be easier to deal with than others,there is no hierarchy. Well, there shouldn't be. 

When I see babies that seem to cry a lot (or are at least crying a lot in that moment) I can't help but to think if people are judging that baby by the same criteria they use with baby Z:

Quiet baby = good baby.
Crying baby = bad baby.

More importantly, I wonder what the parent is thinking. Is (s)he thinking the child is bad? That question seems like its answer would be obvious, but I've written before about the crazy things I've seen from parents. Just as my daughter is able to absorb the happy, peaceful energy of those that think she is so "good," other babies absorb the anxious, angry energy of those that think they are "bad."

I believe in the value of a baby's cry, so I'd never just write one off as being a "whiny baby," but I know everyone doesn't think that way. I've heard people say things like "He just likes to cry," and "Ignore her. She cries all the time." If only these parents were aware that their dismissive reactions only promote more of the same behavior. (To clarify, I'm talking about actual babies, not 4-year-olds that are crying because they want another Ring Pop. That's a whole other topic... DING *light bulb goes off in head* Think I just thought of another blog topic!)

I hate to see children that actually believe they're bad. It's sad to see corruption at such a young age, but it happens, more often than I'd like to think about. I've heard young boys declare "I'm IS bad!", as if the opposite could in no way be true. What can you expect for a child who, at 4 years of age, has already been convince, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his very core and nature are bad, not good? How do you expect him to treat others? Himself? What type of life do you foresee him having? It doesn't look good.

On baby Z's behalf, I thank the strangers for their kind words, but I hope they have that same kind approach with other babies, too. 







Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail

Preparing Baby for Her Future

First of all, shout out to Baby Z for completing her first year of life! What a big girl! What a blessing! I am thankful!
***
I like to talk to Baby Z while she sits on the potty. It doesn't matter what about (I know she's focused on the task at hand) but I like to use the time to deliver some important messages.

Sometimes, I just sing songs that I make up on the spot. Sometimes, I show off my baddest dance moves. Other times, I'm a bit more serious. I tell her how wonderful she is and how much she is loved. I tell her that I will always support whatever she does in life as long as it is good and honest.

Lots of parents want their children to pick up where they left off, succeed in all the places they couldn't or follow in their footsteps. As a writer, I'd love for her to take that same path, but I acknowledge that she doesn't have to.

I don't want her to grow up feeling pressured to do what I want for her. I want her to be free to pursue what she wants. So many people neglect their own dreams to make their parents happy.  Her father and I are already happy with her, and we will continue to be as long as she does her best and does what is good.

I'd hate to stifle her creativity. It may be in her to do so much more than be a writer. I have no right to stamp that out. I like to use everyday moments, like potty time, to  instill a strong sense of support and acceptance. Children can make some horrible decisions when they feel unsupported and unaccepted. She's only one, and I know I may be jumping the gun a bit, but is it ever too early to prepare your kids for the future?


Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail