Oh, Barbie, What Great Cleavage You Have

I thought I was done with this topic when I wrote "Whore-in-a-box." Guess not.

Baby Z isn't even into dolls yet, but I'm sure she will be one day, so I like to scope out the scene, you know, get a lay of the land. I want to know beforehand which dolls are up to my standard and which ones ain't coming within ten feet of our home.

So, there I am walking through the toy aisle at K-Mart and I pass a "Barbie Basics" display, full of a nice variety of Barbies in various variations of the little black dress. Now, I'll start off on a good note: I loved the diversity of the dolls. They had every skin color from pale white to the darkest shade of brown. I applaud them on that. Ever little girl needs to be able to see a doll that looks just like her.

What I don't applaud them on is this...

I literally stopped in my tracks when I saw this "no bra required" plunging neckline on a doll, you know, those things little girls are supposed to play with. I bet Mattel would make the claim that these dolls are "collectors items, meant for a more mature crowd." Sure, they said the same thing about candy cigarettes. I don't care what your PR guy told you to say, when you make a TOY and then place it in the TOY aisle, the message is blindingly clear.

I remember some years ago they came out with president Barbie, astronaut Barbie, banker Barbie, and whole bunch of others that were supposed to clean up Barbie's image and make her more of a tool of empowerment for girls... Guess president Barbie wasn't selling. They needed to sex it back up to get back in the black. And really that's a shame, that the more provactively dressed dolls sell better. I'm certain if people stopped buying Barbies (and Bratz) and only bought dolls that wouldn't make a grandmother clutch her pearls, they'd pull these things off the shelves immediately. Unfortunately, most of these companies only care about money, which means they'll supply whatever we ask for. If there were a big enough demand for Streetwalker Barbie they'd definitely make that. Get a petition going for Crackhead Barbie and watch them deliver.

We are the ones in control.  We parents need to stop buying these sexed-up dolls and demand something more appropriate. It is up to us. Let's let them know this isn't okay.

 
Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail

So, I Guess I Should Stop Dying My Hair. Whatchu think?

I've dyed my hair a bunch of times. Nothing major, only a deeper, darker shade of brown, anything to get rid of my natural shade (which I used to refer to as "dusty"). If I ever decide to get hilights, I guess that'll still be okay, but the full-on dying must stop.

When I was pregnant, I just knew my daughter would be born with black/really really dark brown, could-pass-for-black hair. That's how my husband's hair is and I assumed his genes would over power mine. I was right. She came out with a head full of shiny, black hair.

As the months went by, though, it changed. It kept getting lighter and lighter until it turned borderline red (in the right light, anyway). It's still just as cute as it was black, but I was shocked to see she was taking after my color.

Then it hit me: I can't put my own hair color down, call it mean names like "dusty", and expect her not to be affected when her hair is almost identical to mine. She's not even a year old yet, so I'm sure she hasn't noticed my abusive hair color comments, but it won't be long before she does.

I'm gearing myself up to raise a confident, self-loving daughter who doesn't feel the need to change things about herself to be beautiful and accepted. I have to start by accepting myself--reddish-brown hair and all. Sure, I could tell her "No, mommy's brown is ugly, but yours (which happens to look just like mine) is gorgeous," but we all know how well that would work. Children sometimes listen to what you say, but they always pay attention to what you do. I have to always keep that in mind. 

I don't want her to grow up thinking it's normal to put herself down. It may seem harmless, but all these seemingly harmless messages about our "flaws" are definitely being absorbed by our daughters. There are more than enough crazy messages out there. I can't allow myself to add one more.


Zara's Mommy, Nadirah Angail

Whore-in-a-Box

So, I guess this title is pretty harsh, but, really, I think it's kind of fitting. Or maybe video ho-in-a-box is better. No? Still, too harsh? Well, I don't know what to call it, then. All I know is it’s not appropriate for little girls. A scantily-clad, makeup-covered doll that comes complete with her own bling? What a perfect way to advertise sex and materialism to our daughters.

What ever happened to dolls that look like this?I used to LOVE my cabbage patch doll. Now, dolls look like you have to show ID just to buy them. This, on top of shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, is a recipe for disaster. Childhood should be a time of fun, learning and innocence, not mini skirts, blush and mid drifts.Why is there such a rush to grow our girls up?

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Toddlers and Tiaras: Am I the only one grossed out by this show?

As if there weren't enough crazy reality shows, someone had to go and create Toddlers and Tiaras. For those that haven't seen it, it follows the lives of young girls (and I do mean young) and their mothers as they spend all their time, energy, and money on little girls' beauty pageants. And how do they win, you ask? By being their sweet, adorable selves? Perhaps I wouldn't be as grossed out by the show if that were the case, but it isn't. These young girls, that range anywhere from 3-10 years old, wear makeup, fake hair, fake tans, fake lashes, fake teeth, bikinis and short dresses as they prance and dance around the stage. And apparently no one sees a problem with this. Here's a clip.

Whatever happened to regular, unadorned little girls? You know, the loveable little creatures with frizzy ponytails, missing teeth and juice-stained tee shirts. Are they not enough anymore? I guess not, because these mothers are dressing their babies up, sometimes beyond recognition, and having them strut down a walkway, all in the hope of being crowd the best. Is it that important to these mothers to have their little girls acknowledged as pretty by complete strangers that they're willing to rob them of their innocence? By dressing them up in fake, adult accessories, they are teaching these girls that their looks are the most important part of them and that they should do everything to "perfect" them.

It's bad enough that the media is encouraging our precious girls to grow up too quickly, but to have their own mothers' endorsing this idea is a disease to our society. We're producing superficial, looks-obsessed girls that grow up into superficial, looks-obsessed women, women that are more likely to develop eating disorders, women that are at an increased risk of having low self esteem (though you wouldn't know it on the outside). When they develop a reality show about little girls and their academic, artistic, and athletic talents, I'll be the first to watch, but until then, I'm disgusted.

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah