Baby Z's Goals

I was listening to a famous speaker once, and he asked a question. He asked, "How many of you have helped your children make 5-year plans?"

No hands went up.

"I've been all around the world asking that question," he went on to say, "and in other countries, they're raising their hands." He then spoke about how Americans have fallen so far behind other countries when it comes to educating and preparing our children for the future.

That was a few months ago, but it stuck with me, so I decided to help the baby with her very first plan. She said 5-years is a little much, so we started with this:

Baby Z's 5-Month Plan

 *Note: All of these plans were written by the baby, not me.

Month 1- Learn how to do my own hair (I guess my mom does an alright job, but she keeps giving me these baby styles. I've got an image to uphold.)

Month 2- Audition for American Idol (Why not? Everyone else does.)

Month 3-Get the parents to start giving me allowance. (I mean, seriously, how do they expect me to save for college and I don't have any money?)



Month 4-Get enrolled in kindergarter (Since I already know how to scribble, sings songs and take naps, I figure I've already got pre-school down. I'm headed straight to the big leagues!)

Month 5- Get an iphone 4 (I keep telling my mom, "I'm not a baby anymore!" I'm 13 months old, for goodness' sake. And I'm the only baby young adult on the block without one. How embarassing.)

Okay, so this is obviously a joke, but when she gets older (like around 5 or 6) her father and I are going to help her start making goals. We gotta prepare these kids early. It's tough out there!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

A Letter...From Baby Zara

I woke up this morning and found a letter sticking out from underneath my pillow. It was from the baby...

Observations of Bath Time


Foreword: Please, read the following letter aloud in your best British accent, for I feel that would best convey the sentiment of an Afro-Parisian sophisticate like myself.

My Dearest Mother,

I’ve tried countless times to address this subject with you in person, but your knowledge of Baby Speak is quite abysmal. (Might I recommend Rosetta Stone’s Baby Speak computer course. I’ve heard nothing but good things about it, but I digress.) Frustrated and at my wits end, I decided to try one more time in this letter.

Let me begin at the beginning, for that would make the most sense, I feel. I appreciate the time you take to bathe and clean me. Your efforts do not go unnoticed. However (certainly, you knew there was a “however” coming) I am quite bothered by your bathing methods, as they present a considerable problem when it comes to my bathtub playtime.

I’m sure you know as well as I that we babies have few cares in life. We pretty much do what we want when we want with little or no concern for how it would affect you (or anyone else for that matter). This is the attitude I take to bath time. I know you have a job to do, but, quite simply, I don’t care. I, too, have a job, and it has nothing to do with wash cloths and baby wash (which smells heavenly, might I add). Okay, let me get to the point, for I feel I am rambling.

Hmm, how shall I put this? You see, even at the tender age of 10 months, I’ve already developed a sensitivity for the emotions of others, so I will choose my words carefully. Here goes. Every time you interrupt my playing to wash me up, I feel as though I’m being ROBBED of precious play time. Forgive me if I am being dramatic, but we’ve all heard stories of adults who didn’t get enough play in their childhood. Surely, you want a different outcome for me, your dear firstborn.

I DEMAND uninterrupted bathtub playtime. This washing up nonsense must stop immediately. I am not amused. Might I suggest washing me up at night while I sleep? Yes, it will cut into your sleeping time, but, remember, I am a baby and do not care of such things. I must caution you, though. Should you take my advice (and I hope you do) be careful not to wake me, for I would then be force to pen another letter entitled “Observations of Bed Time.” I’m sure you can guess what the contents of such a letter would be.

Well, I’ve spotted some miscellaneous debris on the floor, and it would be against my better judgment not to put it in my mouth. I must leave you now. Feel free to write back. If you haven’t guess by now, I can read and write.

Your dearest daughter,

Zara


Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail
http://www.nadirahangail.com/

You know you're a mom of an infant if...

Here's a list of things I've noticed about myself since I became a mom. Feel free to add on.

You know you're a mom of an infant if...

-You have pee/booboo/throw up stains on your clothes at ALL TIMES
-and you don't even care anymore
-You have items like wipes, rattles, miscellaneous diapers and onsies in your purse, even when the baby isn't with you
-Going to the grocery store feels like "getting out"
-You go days without leaving the house
-You buy clothes depending on how "baby friendly" they are
-You tell your childless friends countless stories about your baby that they probably don't want to hear
-You're amazed at how quickly your baby grows and changes
-At the mall, you now go in stores that you never used to pay attention to (like Gymboree).
-You get happy when your fussy baby finally falls asleep... like REALLY happy
-You're amazed at the things you've been able to do while holding a baby
-You're regretting that expensive baby item you just bought because you know you didn't really need. It was just so cute!
-You take one million pictures of your child a day, even when it's clear the baby is thinking "Leave me the hell alone"
-You accept normal, everyday baby behavior as proof that your child is nothing short of a genius. "You see how she stares into the light? I told you she was smart!"

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail