Because they're "yours," some people seem to think they can treat their children any ol' way. I completely disagree. Parents should model for their children the type of behavior they want them to display. In my case, I want Zara to be kind and respectful, so that's how I treat her.
Not everyone takes this approach.
Jus the other day, I saw a woman tell her no-older-than-6-years-old son "If you don't shut the F_ _ _ up, little boy..." I was in Target. I think he was pestering her about getting something. Begging children can be ANNOYING, I'll admit, but to talk to a child-your own child-like that is never called for. I was so bothered. I wanted to just grab that little boy and bring him home with me. I'm not saying the woman is a bad mother. I dont know her in the least and have no business judging her overall parenting, but in that moment, she got an F.
I notice a lot of times its mothers speaking this way to their sons. That makes it even worse. There seems to be an abundance of low quality men that have no clue how to relate to and respect women. This is no surprise when you consider the first relationship any male has with a woman is with his mother. If she curses him out as a child, its extremely easy for him to grow up and repeat that same behavior with women.
It's a cycle.
I'm even more disgusted when I see brown mothers doing this to their Little Brown Boys (LBBs). LBBs are born with targets on their back. It seems the world is just waiting to label them as "bad" and "disruptive." LBBs are more likely to be punished for their behavior in school and more likely to be held back and put in remedial classes. This is not because they're intrinsically flawed. It's because the odds are stacked against them. Every mother of a LBB should know this and do everything in her power to fight it. Cursing at your son and calling him things like "lil nigga" (yes, I've heard people say this) is downright criminal and teaches him that he has little worth and even less potential.
I don't have a son, but I have nephews (6 and 9m), and we've constantly covering them in the protective salve of kind, self-affirming words. We fill in every crack with love and reassurance that they are nothing less than the best and worthy of good things. They doesn't realize it, but they internalize these messages, and will be able to project them back out into the world when they get older.
It's a cycle.
Regardless of if you have a Little Brown Boy, a Little White Boys, a Little Yellow Boy, or a Little Brown-White-and-Yellow Boy, treat him with respect. Fill the space around him with beautiful words that let him know just how special he really is.
Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail
