Christmas Advice From a Person Who Doesn't Celebrate Christmas

Zara and I already had our holiday, but we know Christmas is coming up for a lot of others. Though I'm sure you've already done your shopping (right?) I still have a bit of advice about Christmas shopping. It's pretty short and sweet: Don't break the bank.  Every year I see people breaking their necks, sometimes literally, to get to Black Friday sales to get the perfect gifts. There is never anything wrong with giving gifts, but please remember that your children and family members will not disown you just because you didn't max out the Visa.

What I've learned in my 6 months as a mother is that everything is a toy to babies. Zara will play with anything within reach, and she's have a great time too. She loves to rip up napkins, rip up paper and rip up cardboard boxes. She loves playing peek-a-boo with herself using a blanket. She loves to play with my hair whenever it falls in her face, and she loves to play with her ribbon. My husband gave me a gift wrapped up in a bright purple ribbon. I was going to throw it away, but she got her hands on it and now it's become another one of her "toys."

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "My 10 year old don't want no ribbon!" Sure he doesn't, but there are still affordable gifts that your child and your wallet will appreciate. And don't forget to show your children how good it feels to give gifts of their own. Kids get so focused or getting, getting, getting. Let them be on the other side for a change. Since they're probably about to get a truckload of new toys, why not tell them to go through their old toys and pick out some to give to a homeless shelter. Teach them about how blessed they are to have gifts and how some people aren't as fortunate. It's a great way to get your kids in the habit of giving back and it helps to prevent them from becoming brats.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Living on Baby Time

I'm used to rushing through tasks, trying to get them done quickly so I can move on to the next one. Not anymore. I live on Zara time now. If you have baby, then you know they're not in a rush to do anything (other than eat).  She loves to lounge, relax and take her time. I could fight it and try to force her to be like everyone else, but why? Most people spend their entire adult life rushing, cutting corners for convenience and still not having enough time to do what they really want. We're constantly looking for faster ways to do things, but rarely finding ourselves with more free time at the end of the day.

If Zara wants to take her time and enjoy herself, who am I to stop her? Besides, I'm sure she'll have the rest of her life to be in a rush. So when she wants to spend another  15 minutes nursing even though she's not eating anymore, I let her. When she wants to stay in the tub splashing water well after I've finsihed washing her up, I let her. When she wants to sit on my lap all day even though I know I have things to do, I let her. It does take a lot of time, but she's much more pleasant and it's great bonding time for the two of us.

It's also a great lesson for me. Babies are pure, untouched by any type of corruption. There is a lot we adults can learn from them if we take the time. Forcing myself to be patient with her has allowed me to be more patient with myself. I've been able to relax more and enjoy my life, instead of rushing through it. How many times have you said "I can't wait until today is over?" "I can't wait until the weekend?" We're constantly waiting on something else, forgetting about the blessing of the present. If all we do is spend our life looking forward to what is to come, we're never taking the time to enjoy what is here. I'd hate to wake up one day as a old woman and realize I spent my whole life waiting on what's next. Enjoy what's now. It may be the last now you get. Nothing is promised to any of us. So if your child wants to take her time eating her dinner or getting dressed, let her, and see how much more peaceful you life can be.




Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Zara's Report Card

Zara got straight A's on her report card, and its not because her mother made it. I wouldn't dare leave her education up to our plagued public school system, so I'm doing it myself (for now, anyway). See her reportcard below.

Student's Name: Zara
Age: 5 months
Teacher: Mommy, of course

Reading- A+
Comments- Zara is very attentive and loves the bright colors in her books. She makes adorable noises and tries to grab the pictures in the book. She even likes to free style and make up her own endings.

Math- A+
Comments- Zara knows that 1 mommy + 1 daddy = everything she needs. She also loves her many friends and extended family members that help take care of her. She tried counting them, but lost cout around 100. She also loves counting how many times a day she nurses. She tried counting those too, but again lost count around 100.

Art- A+
Comments- I don't want to speak too soon, but we many have another Picasso on our hands. You should see the masterpieces she creates with her throw up splatters and booboo stains.

Physical Fitness- A+
Comments- Zara is the fastest swimmer in the tub. She's a back floating master and will beat anyone in the 100M freestyle

Language- A+
Comments- Zara responds to English, French, Wolof and Fulani (and she speaks them too when no one is watching).



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

You and me and baby makes three

Just the two of us, that's how it's always been. We were used the that, comfortable with that. Now that the baby is here, our two is gone. We've gotten used to this three, love this three, wouldn't trade this three for anything in the world, but we can't forget about our two.

I heard in school that marital satisfaction drops suddenly and, in most cases, temporarily. I wouldn't say I've experienced a drop in my satisfaction, just a change. From a having a wiggly, slobbery, throw up-y little person in the bed to rarely going out on dates, babies turn your world upsdie down.

So I've been brainstorming ways to get our two back from time to time. A lot of times, mothers think that the marriage has to go on the back burner if she wants to be a good mom. Not true. It's possible to have both the marriage and the baby both on front burners. (After all, there are two.) It takes some balancing and patience, but it is doable and 100% necessary.

Part of being good parents is showing your children what a healthy love looks like. Completely ignoring your husband and treating him like the guy you just share a room with is not the example you want to set for your babies.  It's bad enough we've got to compete with TV, music and magazines that push "SEX, SEX, SEX" onto our kids. Showing them how to do it the right way is an invaluable lesson. So show your man some attention and don't you dare feel bad about it!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Have you seen my $83,376?

Now that I'm a SAHM, I've gotten into the habit of telling people I don't work. I need to clarify that statement, because, as it is, it's extremely misleading and downright false. What I mean and should be saying is that I do work (quite hard, actually) just not at a job that compensates me with biweekly paychecks in the form of US currency. Ok, that is a mouthful. Maybe I should just tell them that I don’t work for the MAN *said with a fiery attitude*. Nah, that sounds too controversial, like it might start a long conversation that I don’t even have the time to get into. Ok, what about “Family Operations Executive”? Yeaaaaa, sounds fancy, huh? But then I’d have to deal with all the questions about what a FOE is. I’m going to have to keep thinking on this name, but either way, I definitely work. SAHMs don’t get paid, but if we did, I think we should get $83,376. Why $83,376? Well, because:


I looked into it. The price varies, but Merry Maids (you know, the company that has the commercial with the jolly maids cleaning homes) charges around 180 for 2 hours, or 90/hr. Since I spend around 2 hours cleaning a day (I’m sure it’s more for people with older children) that’s 180 dollars x 7 days a week x 2 week=$2,520.

Then there is childcare. Looked into that, too. Daycarematch.com reports child care rates from all over the country. Their prices range between $314 and $640. I’ll situate myself right in the middle at $477. So that’s 477 a week x 2 weeks = $954. $2,520 + $954= $3,474. That amount paid biweekly comes out to $6,948 per month. That amount paid monthly comes out to $83,376 each year. And that’s not including all the other things SAHMs do. So, I'm not sure what I should be called, but I know I'm working!

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail