Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sorry to bother you. I just really like my kid.

My cousins, who are already parents, told me this would happen, so I'm not surprised. I just find it odd. It seems like every day I take Zara out, I get a comment from someone about how spoiled she'll be (or already is) from me holding her. I don't just get these comments from friends and family members. I get them from complete strangers who obviously were so affected by my baby-holding that they felt the need to come inform me. You mean to tell me it's wrong to hold my child?! The hospital gave me all this baby literature, but I didn't see that part. Better go double check.

Their assumption is that holding babies a lot makes then spoiled because they'll never let you put them down. My assumption is that babies, especially little ones, need to be held a lot to develop a a sense of safety in the world. They need to know that they're going to be cared for. Plus, the contact and stimulation is great for their brain development. Besides, what's the big deal? She likes it, I like it and it's not harming either of us. (I'd like to say it's not harming anyone, but seeing the way people respond to it, I don't feel comfortable making that statement.)

I'll admit, she does love to be held and will pitch a fit if she doesn't feel like sitting down, but I don't let it bother me, because I know if I give her what she needs now, she'll be independent and well-adjusted later. Sometimes I see clingy, whiny, anxiety-ridden kids and wonder how much attention they got when they were babies. Who knows? I could be wrong, but I'm sure holding her is not going to do any harm. She'll only be little for a short period of time, anyway. Once she starts crawling and then walking, being held with be the last thing on her mind, so I'm going to get all my holds in while I can.
Me and Zara in the Moby Wrap (which I love)
P.S. Sorry to anyone my avid baby-holding has offended.

Leelou Blogs

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail


  1. Don't listen to anyone, hold your child as long as you want! (ok, you might wanna put her down when it's time for her to move out for college...)

    I like your blog, first mommy blog I actually can read (maybe cause your not a Justmom?) Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

  2. Thanks so much. I'm glad you like it.

  3. People will always have something negative to say about things they don't quite understand. I've been warned that my son will become a "hand baby" because I always pick him up when he cries. I think it lets him know that he's safe and loved.

    BTW I have that same Moby wrap and luckily have only gotten compliments so far.

  4. Exactly, Navel. We're on the same page. So you got a moby too? Don't you love it?

  5. The Moby has turned into the lifesaver for when I have to take him to stores. He either sleeps the entire time or looks around. If he's in the bucket carseat he'll eventually fuss until I take him out - not convenient in the grocery store. I like to think of the Moby as a warm, handsfree hug.

  6. Hello Nad,

    I was just thinking about this the other day as someone told me that my excessive holding of my FOUR month old daughter was going to make her spoiled. I am in complete agreement with everything you said. I wish someone would do a study in relation to this because I do think your baby holding theory = well rounded independent child later holds weight. Keep it up, I love the blog...wish that I had the time to do it :-)

  7. I agree with you. Holding your baby as often as you want only means that you love her so much. You can't please everyone, so don't be affected by those people. Hold your baby as long as you want to hold her. I am with you.:-)


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