Christmas Advice From a Person Who Doesn't Celebrate Christmas

Zara and I already had our holiday, but we know Christmas is coming up for a lot of others. Though I'm sure you've already done your shopping (right?) I still have a bit of advice about Christmas shopping. It's pretty short and sweet: Don't break the bank.  Every year I see people breaking their necks, sometimes literally, to get to Black Friday sales to get the perfect gifts. There is never anything wrong with giving gifts, but please remember that your children and family members will not disown you just because you didn't max out the Visa.

What I've learned in my 6 months as a mother is that everything is a toy to babies. Zara will play with anything within reach, and she's have a great time too. She loves to rip up napkins, rip up paper and rip up cardboard boxes. She loves playing peek-a-boo with herself using a blanket. She loves to play with my hair whenever it falls in her face, and she loves to play with her ribbon. My husband gave me a gift wrapped up in a bright purple ribbon. I was going to throw it away, but she got her hands on it and now it's become another one of her "toys."

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "My 10 year old don't want no ribbon!" Sure he doesn't, but there are still affordable gifts that your child and your wallet will appreciate. And don't forget to show your children how good it feels to give gifts of their own. Kids get so focused or getting, getting, getting. Let them be on the other side for a change. Since they're probably about to get a truckload of new toys, why not tell them to go through their old toys and pick out some to give to a homeless shelter. Teach them about how blessed they are to have gifts and how some people aren't as fortunate. It's a great way to get your kids in the habit of giving back and it helps to prevent them from becoming brats.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Living on Baby Time

I'm used to rushing through tasks, trying to get them done quickly so I can move on to the next one. Not anymore. I live on Zara time now. If you have baby, then you know they're not in a rush to do anything (other than eat).  She loves to lounge, relax and take her time. I could fight it and try to force her to be like everyone else, but why? Most people spend their entire adult life rushing, cutting corners for convenience and still not having enough time to do what they really want. We're constantly looking for faster ways to do things, but rarely finding ourselves with more free time at the end of the day.

If Zara wants to take her time and enjoy herself, who am I to stop her? Besides, I'm sure she'll have the rest of her life to be in a rush. So when she wants to spend another  15 minutes nursing even though she's not eating anymore, I let her. When she wants to stay in the tub splashing water well after I've finsihed washing her up, I let her. When she wants to sit on my lap all day even though I know I have things to do, I let her. It does take a lot of time, but she's much more pleasant and it's great bonding time for the two of us.

It's also a great lesson for me. Babies are pure, untouched by any type of corruption. There is a lot we adults can learn from them if we take the time. Forcing myself to be patient with her has allowed me to be more patient with myself. I've been able to relax more and enjoy my life, instead of rushing through it. How many times have you said "I can't wait until today is over?" "I can't wait until the weekend?" We're constantly waiting on something else, forgetting about the blessing of the present. If all we do is spend our life looking forward to what is to come, we're never taking the time to enjoy what is here. I'd hate to wake up one day as a old woman and realize I spent my whole life waiting on what's next. Enjoy what's now. It may be the last now you get. Nothing is promised to any of us. So if your child wants to take her time eating her dinner or getting dressed, let her, and see how much more peaceful you life can be.




Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Zara's Report Card

Zara got straight A's on her report card, and its not because her mother made it. I wouldn't dare leave her education up to our plagued public school system, so I'm doing it myself (for now, anyway). See her reportcard below.

Student's Name: Zara
Age: 5 months
Teacher: Mommy, of course

Reading- A+
Comments- Zara is very attentive and loves the bright colors in her books. She makes adorable noises and tries to grab the pictures in the book. She even likes to free style and make up her own endings.

Math- A+
Comments- Zara knows that 1 mommy + 1 daddy = everything she needs. She also loves her many friends and extended family members that help take care of her. She tried counting them, but lost cout around 100. She also loves counting how many times a day she nurses. She tried counting those too, but again lost count around 100.

Art- A+
Comments- I don't want to speak too soon, but we many have another Picasso on our hands. You should see the masterpieces she creates with her throw up splatters and booboo stains.

Physical Fitness- A+
Comments- Zara is the fastest swimmer in the tub. She's a back floating master and will beat anyone in the 100M freestyle

Language- A+
Comments- Zara responds to English, French, Wolof and Fulani (and she speaks them too when no one is watching).



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

You and me and baby makes three

Just the two of us, that's how it's always been. We were used the that, comfortable with that. Now that the baby is here, our two is gone. We've gotten used to this three, love this three, wouldn't trade this three for anything in the world, but we can't forget about our two.

I heard in school that marital satisfaction drops suddenly and, in most cases, temporarily. I wouldn't say I've experienced a drop in my satisfaction, just a change. From a having a wiggly, slobbery, throw up-y little person in the bed to rarely going out on dates, babies turn your world upsdie down.

So I've been brainstorming ways to get our two back from time to time. A lot of times, mothers think that the marriage has to go on the back burner if she wants to be a good mom. Not true. It's possible to have both the marriage and the baby both on front burners. (After all, there are two.) It takes some balancing and patience, but it is doable and 100% necessary.

Part of being good parents is showing your children what a healthy love looks like. Completely ignoring your husband and treating him like the guy you just share a room with is not the example you want to set for your babies.  It's bad enough we've got to compete with TV, music and magazines that push "SEX, SEX, SEX" onto our kids. Showing them how to do it the right way is an invaluable lesson. So show your man some attention and don't you dare feel bad about it!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Have you seen my $83,376?

Now that I'm a SAHM, I've gotten into the habit of telling people I don't work. I need to clarify that statement, because, as it is, it's extremely misleading and downright false. What I mean and should be saying is that I do work (quite hard, actually) just not at a job that compensates me with biweekly paychecks in the form of US currency. Ok, that is a mouthful. Maybe I should just tell them that I don’t work for the MAN *said with a fiery attitude*. Nah, that sounds too controversial, like it might start a long conversation that I don’t even have the time to get into. Ok, what about “Family Operations Executive”? Yeaaaaa, sounds fancy, huh? But then I’d have to deal with all the questions about what a FOE is. I’m going to have to keep thinking on this name, but either way, I definitely work. SAHMs don’t get paid, but if we did, I think we should get $83,376. Why $83,376? Well, because:


I looked into it. The price varies, but Merry Maids (you know, the company that has the commercial with the jolly maids cleaning homes) charges around 180 for 2 hours, or 90/hr. Since I spend around 2 hours cleaning a day (I’m sure it’s more for people with older children) that’s 180 dollars x 7 days a week x 2 week=$2,520.

Then there is childcare. Looked into that, too. Daycarematch.com reports child care rates from all over the country. Their prices range between $314 and $640. I’ll situate myself right in the middle at $477. So that’s 477 a week x 2 weeks = $954. $2,520 + $954= $3,474. That amount paid biweekly comes out to $6,948 per month. That amount paid monthly comes out to $83,376 each year. And that’s not including all the other things SAHMs do. So, I'm not sure what I should be called, but I know I'm working!

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

You know you're a mom of an infant if...

Here's a list of things I've noticed about myself since I became a mom. Feel free to add on.

You know you're a mom of an infant if...

-You have pee/booboo/throw up stains on your clothes at ALL TIMES
-and you don't even care anymore
-You have items like wipes, rattles, miscellaneous diapers and onsies in your purse, even when the baby isn't with you
-Going to the grocery store feels like "getting out"
-You go days without leaving the house
-You buy clothes depending on how "baby friendly" they are
-You tell your childless friends countless stories about your baby that they probably don't want to hear
-You're amazed at how quickly your baby grows and changes
-At the mall, you now go in stores that you never used to pay attention to (like Gymboree).
-You get happy when your fussy baby finally falls asleep... like REALLY happy
-You're amazed at the things you've been able to do while holding a baby
-You're regretting that expensive baby item you just bought because you know you didn't really need. It was just so cute!
-You take one million pictures of your child a day, even when it's clear the baby is thinking "Leave me the hell alone"
-You accept normal, everyday baby behavior as proof that your child is nothing short of a genius. "You see how she stares into the light? I told you she was smart!"

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Aww, Your Baby is So....Smart

Don't you just love babies? They're so freaking cute, and they know it, because we're constantly reminding them.


"You're so cute!"
"That's my handsome little man!"
"Look at mommy's pretty baby!"

We've got us some cute kids, guys. But, is that all they are? We (myself included) constantly obsess over how they look, especially girls. What about how they are? Their talents, their characteristics?

I tell Zara a billion times a day how pretty she is, but I also tell her how smart, kind, funny, and caring she is. It probably doesn't really matter now, but when she gets older, she will internalize these messages and know that she's more than a pretty face. As mesmerizing as her eyes are, as adorable as her chubby cheeks are, as purely beautiful as her face is, I'd never want her to think she is nothing but a pretty face. I want to raise her to believe that her looks are the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

In this world, it's easy for a woman to put all her stock in her looks. At the same time, it's just as easy for that woman to feel less-than, not good enough, not cute enough. Despite all the emphasis we put on looks, few of us are truly happy with them. It's like we see beauty as this bright, shining star that is just out of reach. We all want it, but no one can really reach it.

Shouldn't beauty be a whole expression of who we are, rather than a mere expression of how we look? Looks are important, but no more important than those qualities and traits that make you who you are. Zara, my sweet baby, as you grow and mature, I pray that you love your beautiful eyes. But, more importantly, I pray you love the beautiful person behind those eyes.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

My First Blog Award

This really encourages me to get back on my blogging. I just get so busy, yall! But, I was so pleased to see that the beautiful lady over at Marlie and Me gave me this:

Isn't that sweet? I love to know that people (or at least one person) enjoys reading this blog as much as I enjoy writing it. Now that I have the been given this award, it is my duty to do the same to 15 other bloggers out there. I've kind of been off the scene for a while, so I don't know if I can even think of 15, but I will try. Here goes (random order)...

My Brown Baby

Baby Makin(g) Machine

Navelgazing

Cutie Booty Cakes

Natural Mommie

The Balancing Act of... One Chic Mommy

A Place of Comfort

A Spiritual Connection

Anti-Racist Parent

Ms. Wanda

Ok, so that's only 10, but like I said, I've been off the scene. I'm not really up on the blogs like I used to be :(

To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Why I love Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding was never an option. In my mind, it was just what you do when you have a baby, period. I watched my mother breastfeed my younger brother and my other relatives do the same, so it just came naturally. It wasn't until I was older that I learned that only about 36.2% of American moms breastfeed up to 6 months (CDC, 2003).
I've known some people say they tried breastfeeding, but gave up after a day or so because it was too hard. Others say they don't have the time. Others, still, simply aren't interested, and I understand that. Parenting is all about choices, and breastfeeding is a choice that mothers may or may not choose. For those that choose it, yea for you. For those that don't, I encourage you to give it a second thought. It's not nearly as hard as it seems.

It does require a commitment (like anything else in life worth doing) but the worst part is getting past the first few days. For most women, it's a new experience to have a little person sucking on you, so it definitely takes some getting used to. And it doesn't help that the baby's sucking triggers contractions in your uterus. After just delivering a baby, the last thing any new mom wants to feel is another contraction, but it's actually in our best interest. The post partum contractions help the out-stretched uterus to shrink back down to its normal size. (Can you say flat stomach?) Breastfeeding also helps reduce your risk of breast cancer, and it’s insanely healthy for your little one.
If you’re a busy mom who is thinking “All that sounds great, but how am I supposed to breastfeed and work?” Know that it is possible. If you can’t keep your baby with your milk, keep you milk with your baby. With a quality pump, it only takes about 5-10 minutes to express a bag of milk. You can freeze it and send it to daycare with your child. That way your baby will always feels connected to you.

I can’t explain how close breastfeeding makes me feel to my baby. I LOVE the slurping noises she makes. They’re so loud and expressive, like she’s thinking “OMG! This is the best stuff ever!” I’m amazed by the fact that God has given me a way to feed my child. Everything she needs is literally within me. No matter where we go, if she’s with me, she’s taken care of. I love that feeling.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Single Mother for a Weekend

I appreciate my husband. I make it a point to tell him that on a regular basis, but after being a single mother for a weekend, I really appreciate him... like, REALLY.

This past weekend, one of my friends was getting married and I had to attend. We've known each other since senior year in high school and I wasn't going to let the fact that she live in North Carolina (remember, I live in Missiouri) stop me. So, I spent some time looking for a cheap ticket and found a great price I couldn't pass up. With my Travelocity confirmation in hand, I packed my bags, I packed my baby and hit the road.

Usually when I travel, I like to get fly-something about a new city that just makes you want to break out your best-but this time was different. I couldn't find half my clothes because we had just moved, and I didn't want to take much because I knew I had to carry Zara. So, I packed a modest bag full of "just okay" gear, and tried not to be discouraged by the fact that I had zero pairs of earrings and no big, pretty scarves. On a lighter note, Zara was looking too cute!

I love carrying Zara in my Moby Wrap; it really was a lifesaver this weekend, but carrying her plus a diaper bag and a stuffed-to-capacity travel bag wasn't easy. Luckily, there were wonderfully nice strangers in the airport that came and helped him. I had people helping me with my bags, picking up things I dropped, and even getting my veggie sub for me from Quiznos! Thank God for kind, helpful people.

When it came time to get on the plane, my heart was about to jump out of my chest. I was terrified that Zara would scream the whole way there and I would become the most hated person on the flight. But of course, in true Zara fashion, she was peaceful and serene on both flights (yes, there were two).

My NC friends were more than willing to help me out with the baby, but she wasn't as open to them as they were to her. I guess she needed some time to get used to her new surroundings, because she cried everytime another person tried to hold her. That meant I, Nadirah, had to carry her around ALL THE TIME for the first few days. I'm used to being able reenergize while she is hanging with her father. That was not the case. Even though I had a marvelous time and would definitely do it again, it was so tiring. I couldn't help but think about people who really are single parents. What I went through in a weekend, they live with. You have to be so strong to do it by yourself. My hat goes off to single parents. You guys rock!




Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Do I have septuplets!?

Ok, readers, I'm back. Sorry for the delay. I felt bad not doing my daily posts, but you know how it goes. Moving into this new place took a lot of time, and Zara and I took an out-of-state trip (which will be blogged about soon). Anyway, on to today’s post…


Zara is 4 months today, and I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. It seems like just yesterday I was trying to coax her out of her previous residence and now she’s complete 1/3 of a year! My baby’s growing up *TEAR*. Actually, on second thought, I’ll suck that tear back up. I’m happy she’s growing. It’s a blessing. If she was still the 6 ½ pound chocolate drop I brought home, I’d be extremely concerned. That would be the time for tears. Now is the time for thankfulness, because I have a beautiful 4 month old that is the picture of health.

Our natural doctor (who we happen to love) warned us that, as the baby’s newness wears off, things may become harder to manage. I don’t know when that wearing off process is supposed to begin, but so far, so good. Every day I wake up, I am ecstatic to see her chubby little face. It never gets old. I feel just as excited as I did the day I brought her home (but without the soreness). It’s like I’m getting a brand new baby every day. That’s seven babies a week. Seven wonderful Zaras, just for me. (Oh, and her father. Almost forgot about him.)

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Hey Nadirah, what's up with the posts?

So, you've probably noticed that my posts have been irregular lately. So sorry about that. I really enjoy giving you guys daily posts, but I've been super busy with this move. My husband and I are moving into our own place and I just haven't had time to get on like I usually do. Once we actually get into the new place, we may not have internet connection for a while. Hopefully, it will only be a few days, but I just wanted to give you all an update. thanks for your patience. See ya soon!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

More Hair Talk

Ladies, just because you're a busy mom doesn't mean you have to look a mess, so here another random video post about hair, Hear Zara in the background sounding cute.




Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

To The Rude People That Feel the Need to Comment On My Child

I love my daughter. She has these big, wonderful cheeks that draw a lot of attention, most of it positive. However, there are those that feel the need to talk about my "big baby" like she's a freak of nature.

"Whoo, that's a big baby!" said in a voice like they truly can't believe the girth of this child. Sure, she's nice and chubby, but no chubbier than she should be, so I definitely don't appreciate the uncalled for comments.

No, she isn't twenty pounds.
No, I don't feed her table food.
And yes, you need to stop talking to me because I'm about to get a big attitude. I'm a pretty nice person. I don't get mad all that easily, but it's the tone I find disrespectful. Some people say "Oh, I love those chubby cheeks." Or "What a cute little round baby," and they say it with love. I'm not talking about these people. I love those people. I'm talking about the ones that act as if they're looking at the craziest thing they've ever seen in their lives, like me and my baby can share clothes, or something. These are the ones that are about to make me lose my usually sweet disposition.

Just because she is a baby doesn't give people the right to say whatever they want. Just because you know me or are related to me doesn't give you the right to say whatever you want. My child is not oversized. She's a sweet little baby that loves to nurse, as she should.




Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Zara's first Eid

Eid is coming up and Zara is really excited... Ok, maybe she's not that excited, because she doesn't even know what Eid is yet, but I'm excited for her. We put our huge "Eid Mubarak" sign up and have our "Eid lights," not to be confused with Christmas lights, hanging from the mantle. The gifts are wrapped and in a good hiding place (a spot she'll never think to look).  It may seem silly to do all this for such a small baby, but I'm just following the tradition of my parents. Every year, they were sure to make a big deal out of our Islamic holiday, so that when we saw all the Christian kids at school celebrating Christmas, Halloween and Easter, we, too, had something to cling too.

When you are a part of any type of minority group, religious or otherwise, it's important to help your children form a strong sense of identity with that group. I never want my daughter to feel left out, because she isn't like everyone else. I want her to love and grow from her differences. May they make her strong and understanding. May they make her happy to be who she is.

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Priceless Conversations with Baby Zara

I had to make a post dedicated to how wonderful Zara is. She really is the sweetest, cutest, smartest, most pleasant child you can be around. Yesterday, she, my mother and I spent all day shopping. The day before, she came to the movie with her father and me. She truly is an active part of our family. She likes to hang out with the big people and do big people things, like pick out shoes.
While at the store yesterday, we were looking at the baby shoes and I couldn't decide between two different styles. As I stood there going back and forth, she kindly reminded me that the shoes would be for her and that she should be making the decision. I sat both shoes on her lap and let her do her thing. She just looked at them for a while, obviously going over her outfits in her mind to see which pair would be a better fit. The look on her eyes let me know she was in deep contemplation. This was serious business. Then, with the flick of a hand, the decision was made. She grabbed toward the left pair and made a gurgly noise (Translation: "These are classy.") After hearing her explanation, I agreed. The other pair did have a hint of tackiness to them. They looked like they were trying too hard to be cute.

These feet...

will be adorned with these shoes...

"Cuteness is natural. It doesn't come from accessories," she told me. Easy for her to say. She can wear nothing but a diaper and still be the cutest one in the house.
"Sometimes my cuteness takes a little work," I confessed to my mini me
"See that's the problem with you big people. You're always worried about what other people think. Who says your cuteness needs work? Take a lesson from me. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I dare someone to say something. For example, if I have to booboo, I just do it. Who cares if I don't have on a diaper, or if I'm sitting on your new jeans? Or if I'm upset, I just start yelling. I don't stop because I'm in the middle of a library. You should be like me."
"So, I should use the bathroom on myself and scream in quiet places?"
"No, no, no, you're not listening. You don't have to do the things I do. That would look crazy because you're not a fresh-faced baby. I'm trying to tell you to be confident enough in yourself to do whatever it is you want without worrying if someone else will like it.
"Wow, baby Zara, you're wise beyond your years."
"Of course I am, mother, because I'm the best, and I say that with utmost humility.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Hey, Nursing Bra Manufacturers, Read This

Sorry,guys, I know I've been MIA for a few days. Eid (my religious holiday) is coming up and I've been doing my gift shopping. Anyway, on to today's post...

I've never had a problem finding cute bras. I could always bop into any ol' store and get a cute one with fun colors and pretty designs for a low price. Now that I'm breastfeeding, I no longer have that luxury. These manufacturers must think that once you have a baby, you could care less how you look. I've gone from store to store and all I can find are plain nursing bras in a sweeping assortment of black, white, and that ugly "flesh" tone that in no way matches my flesh.

What am I supposed to do with a drawer full of plain black and white bras? Is it too much to ask for a purple or a pink, a polka dot or a stripe? Something! And what about a matching set? Can a sister get her match on? I'm a mom, not an old lady. It's bad enough that a lot of maternity clothes are either really ugly or really expensive. Now, I've got to deal with this. Uncool.

Part of me feels like it shouldn't matter, as long as it's fits and is easy to open. But the other part of me can't accept that. I deserve to be cute, even if it is hidden under my clothes.

P.S. That picture is NOT of me, just in case you were wondering.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

The Hatred-Free Bubble that I'm building for Zara

Zara and I watched the president's speech to school children yesterday. It was pretty good, all two seconds of it. I have a feeling it would have been longer had he not received the backlash from the "conservatives" that hate him so much. I guess the idea of a black man (even if he is only half) talking to their children is too much too bear.

Or maybe it isn't his blackness that makes him evil. It could be his attempts at improving health care. Some people are extremely incensed at the idea of something changing for the better, people like the pastor that prays for Obama's death in his sermons. (Corrections, that's "pastors." He isn't the only one with this prayer.) If a pastor of a church is able to say this aloud to his congregation, imagine what people are saying in private in their own homes. It's really disturbing, so disturbing that I've taken to building a protective bubble for my daughter.

Plastic? Rubber? Glass? I'm not sure what material will be best at protecting her from such hatred, but I need to find out soon, because while some parents are scared of Obama telling their children to stay in school, I'm scared of other people telling my child a far more hateful message. I know I can't shelter her from everything, but can I at least keep away such intense hatred? I shutter to think of someone talking to my baby like that. What if she wants to run for president one day? Is this what she's signing up for? Well, she probably wouldn't win anyway, because I doubt the electability of a candidate with an over protective mother that will fight anyone that disrespects her daughter.

Yea, I can see the news coverage now: "Presidential candidate Zara Ba had to bail her mother out of jail this morning for scuffling with a haggler at last night's debate." Sorry, Zara, I think I've ruined your political career already. I can't help it. I just love you so much, little girl.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Green Smoothie Video

For those that are interested, here's a how-to video for green smoothies. Enjoy!






Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

A Little Hair Talk

I know this is kind of random, but I think it could be helpful to anyone struggling with getting more length. Who knows? Maybe I'll be adding more videos if you guys like this one. Leave a comment and let me know. Oh yeah, in my green smoothie post I said the smoothie has helped my skin. In this video you can see how it looks.

P.S. Be on the lookout for my green smoothie how to video!






Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Self Deprecation is NOT the New Black

I’m really new to this mom blogging thing, but I’ve noticed it’s pretty normal for moms to put themselves down…a lot. I consider it normal to have moments of self doubt, as evidenced by my Fat Cow Moments post, but to regularly talk down about yourself is not cool.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a SAHM who’s lost contact with most of her friends and rarely sees the light of day. It doesn’t matter if you’ve lost your girlish figure and have been trying to get it back for the past decade. It doesn’t matter if you’re divorced (and kind of bitter) or single (and kind or bitter) or married (and kind of bitter). Love yourself and the wonderful children you’ve been blessed with, even if they do terrorize your house.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make changes in your life, but complaining about it and making yourself the butt of jokes doesn’t change anything. If you’d like to get out more, lose weight, go back to school, get a man (or lose a man), do it. Of course, it’s a lot easier said than done, but it’s not impossible. Make it a priority in your life the same way you’ve made your children a priority. If your daughter needs new slippers for ballet and you don’t have the money, you find a way to get them anyway. If your son needs you to pick him up from school because he’s feeling sick and you're in the middle of something important, you find a way to get there anyway. We make time for the things that are important. If you’re important (and I know you are) then make time for yourself and begin to reach for some of those goals that you’ve abandoned. It’s your life, and no one else’s. You have the responsibility of making it what you want!

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Singing in the Rain

It's raining this morning. My husband seems to think it's a bad thing. "I hate rain," is what he said. I told him that rain is a blessing and without it everyone and everything would die. He wasn't that impressed. Oh well. Maybe he's just in a grumpy mood this morning.

Zara, on the other hand, is not in a grumpy mood. She woke us up this morning with a medley of her favorite songs (all of which she wrote herself). She noticed that we weren't responding to her sweet tunes, but didn't give up. She sang even louder, in the loudest voice that an 11-week-old can muster. She’s always so happy and positive.

And I pray she stays that way, always able to find the silver lining. I want her to grow up and appreciate the rain, despite isn’t reputation. I want her to be able to extract the good from any situation and take it with her, creating a protective barrier against the many forces in life that tend to bring us down. It’s so easy to get caught up in the muck of stress, anxiety, anger and jealousy. Maintaining a constant goodness about yourself is harder, but well worth it.

Twenty years from now, when she’s grown and maybe thinking of starting her own family, I hope she continues to sing, even when no one is listening.

My attempt at singing in the rain

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Whore-in-a-Box

So, I guess this title is pretty harsh, but, really, I think it's kind of fitting. Or maybe video ho-in-a-box is better. No? Still, too harsh? Well, I don't know what to call it, then. All I know is it’s not appropriate for little girls. A scantily-clad, makeup-covered doll that comes complete with her own bling? What a perfect way to advertise sex and materialism to our daughters.

What ever happened to dolls that look like this?I used to LOVE my cabbage patch doll. Now, dolls look like you have to show ID just to buy them. This, on top of shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, is a recipe for disaster. Childhood should be a time of fun, learning and innocence, not mini skirts, blush and mid drifts.Why is there such a rush to grow our girls up?

Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

Fat Cow Moments

I thought this was me.     

 Apparently, this is me.

                                                       

Let me explain.

I tried on a dress today and couldn’t zip it up. I tried it on some weeks ago and couldn’t zip it then either, but I wasn’t bothered because I had just had the baby. Now, I’m bothered. Zara is 11 weeks. That dress needs to be zipping. I didn’t gain that much weight while I was pregnant (20 lbs) but it’s taking long to come off. The baby alone was 6.5, and I figure the placenta and whatever else came out was around 3. So, that’s almost 10 lbs right there.


Why in the world can’t I lose this last ten? Disregard that last sentence. I know why. Because I’m not doing anything to lose it. I do eat pretty healthy (which I assumed would be enough) but clearly it’s not cutting it. I was working out for a while, but we’ve had some houseguests that have been staying in the workout room/guest bedroom. I called myself only taking a few days off, and… well, you know. Procrastination become full out abandonment.

It really bothered me that I couldn’t zip that dress. I felt so… so… fat cow. Yea, I know “fat cow” isn’t an adjective, but it really summed up the feeling I’m trying to portray. 10 lbs. isn’t really a big deal, or at least it shouldn’t be, but I really need to get back to my pre baby weight (which wasn’t all that small to begin with). I have a lot of cute clothes that need to be worn. Plus, I know that this 10 lbs. can become a breeding ground for other ugly little lbs.

I was doing pretty good, feeling like I was doing a nice job of slowly getting back to my original weight, but that defiant dress zipper alerted me to the fact that I’m no smaller now than I was 4 weeks post baby. Apparently, my weight loss progression marker took a sudden plunge to zero immediately after the baby was born. I’d like to say I’m going to get back to working out, but that’s a statement that is often made and rarely fulfilled. I’d rather just hit you with a “down 10lbs.” post. We’ll see.



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

The Wonderful World of Thrift Stores

Baby clothes, especially those for little girls, have to be the cutest things in the world. They purposefully make them insanely cute and then charge an arm and a leg, because they know you'll pay it. When Zara gets older and is able to wear her clothes longer than a month or two, I may invest, but for now, its thrift store, baby.

Don't make that face. There's nothing wrong with the thrift store. If you're patient and willing to sift, there are some great finds in there.

Like this..

Baby Gap Checkered Overall Dress .

.99

I got a lot of good things today (all of which totaled nine dollars) but this was really the catch of the day. It's a size 9M so I'll have to hold it for a little, but thats ok. I know she'll be so adorable once she can fit it. A lot of people think thrift stores are full of old, nasty used clothes, and you will see clothes like that there, but you can also get nice, popular brands Baby Gap, Carters, Children's Place, and Osh Kosh. Sometimes, you can even find brand new items with the tags still in place.

If you're ever bored one day and have about 5 dollars in your purse, try your local thrift store. You'll be so surprised at the great things you’ll find for super low prices, like a 100% cashmere, knee-length coat for $5.98. I found that a few years ago. Don't know if I'll ever beat that. (Note: When I say thrift store, I mean real thrift store, not those fancy, schmancy "gently used," well-decorated places that pass themselves off as thrift stores. They charge way too much.)


For those that have never been to a thrift store before, be aware of a few facts:

-All thrift stores have "that smell." Don't be alarmed, its normal.

-The clothes will be in a huge undifferentiated mass. Don't get discouraged. Take a deep breath and get to searching.

-There will be a big 1985-looking wedding dress with puff sleeves on display. It's cool. You don't have to buy it.

-There will be tons of porcelain statues and garden gnomes that are pretty freaky looking to me. If you feel the same way, just don't look at them.

What's your best thrift store find?

 


Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

A Night Out With The Girls. So Necessary

My girls asked me to ride to the mall with them on Monday to do some shopping. I almost said no because I had a cold and didn't really feel like packing up the baby to bring along. Luckily, I changed my mind.


Her father was home, so I decided against bringing Zara. She goes EVERYWHERE with me and I was really in need of some me time. I needed to be able to relax and not worry about if she's hungry, wet or tired. And it wouldn't hurt to have two free hands with no baby in them. Of course the decision to leave her was a gamble, because I'd tried leaving her with him before and it didn't go over so well. See for yourself.

I was out, enjoying myself and having a great time, when I got a call like this:

*My phone rings and I answer*

Me: Hello

Husband: She's crying *Spoken over the intense yelling of our daughter.*

Me: Well, did you give her the bottle?

Husband: She won't take it. *Baby still yelling. Same intensity.*

Me: *Thinks for a second* Put her in the car and bring her to me. (I was only five minutes away at a party. I’d been dropped off and didn't have a ride home yet.)

Husband: I can't drive with her screaming. *Starting to sound agitated.*

Me: Well, I don't have a car. What am I supposed to do? *Sounding just as agitated*

Husband: I don’t know. CLICK

Me: Hello? HEEE-LLLOO? I know he didn't just hang up on me. *Calls back* Did you just hang up on me?

Husband: She's crying I have to go. *Hangs up again*

My initial reaction was to get a huge attitude and go home to have a nice argument about how that was so rude and uncalled for. After about 30 seconds, my more relaxed and logical reaction was to not take it personally and to understand that he's just frustrated and is still getting used to being a father to a newborn.

I got a ride home from my aunt and rushed into the house, arms outstretched, ready to relieve him of our crying daughter. I expected to hear the same yelling that had played interference on the phone call, but it was silent. I went upstairs and found my husband holding a quiet, but wet, towel-wrapped baby. He had put her in the tub to calm her down. She loves the water.

Sidenote: I do believe she could give Michael Phelps a run for his money.

Anyway, it turns out I had rushed home for nothing, but I was glad he had gotten it under control. To ward off the chance of a cry attack happening again, I took her with me and went back to the party.

So, that's what happened the last time I left her with her dad. Still, I left her again, even though I was going far more than five minutes away this time. I figure he's got to learn how to handle that type of behavior sooner or later.

I didn't do much at the mall. Just walk around with my girls and help them pick out clothes. I didn't buy anything other than a .97 cent pair of leggings for the baby, but I had a great time. Just being able to get out of the house and do something that had nothing to do with mothering was great. By the end of the night, I was missing my poopoo and ready to get back on the grind. What a difference a few hours makes!



Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail

What he sees. What you see

We women are always putting ourselves through the ringer. We spend tons of money on hair products, plucking, waxing, and all kinds of makeup. We buy cute but super-uncomfortable shoes and sling shot ourselves into too-small clothes, all in the name of looking good for a man. Too bad some of us don't know that most of this is unnecessary. Men aren't attracted to makeup and stilettos. They are attracted to women, which is what we are naturally. All this other stuff is just excess.

There's nothing wrong with liking makeup, heels and sexy clothes for yourself, but trust me, men don't need it. All they need is you. We jump through so many hoops to impress our mates when they're already sold. We are the ones that are hard to impress. We look at ourselves and other women-especially other women-like we're sitting on a judging panel. We can sniff out a flaw like a bloodhound. Ladies, we are entirely too hard on ourselves. Next time you're standing in the mirror taking flaw inventory, please remember the following.

While looking at your butt, you think...
OMG! Look at this thing. I have got to hit the stairmaster. It's way too big/small/flat/jiggly (choose your word).

He thinks...
Um um um, look at that thing, and its ALL MINE.

While looking at your thighs, you think...
I can't believe these chicken legs/thunder thighs. I'm throwing away every pair of shorts I own.

He thinks...
Aww, look at my honey's legs. She's so cute when she wears shorts.

While looking at your belly, you think...
This pudge is not cool.

He thinks...
I love her soft belly.

While looking at your hips, you think...
These hips are out. of. control. Or I have no hips. I look like a boy.

He thinks...
She got a BANGIN' shape

While looking at your breasts, you think...
This is crazy. Why is my left one bigger than the right? I look like a freak.

He thinks...
Oooooooh, boobies

While looking at your face, you think...
Is that a pimple I see? It's huge! I have a mountain on my face.

He thinks...
Is that a pimple I see? It's  huge! She has a mountain on her face, but she's still adorable.

Our men love us just the way we are. So stop tripping!!


Zara's Mommy,
Nadirah Angail